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Topic: 21) Benjamin Franklin

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21) Benjamin Franklin


Benjamin Franklin


Franklin's Experiment by Nathaniel Currier

Benjamin Franklin, the ****head, was so impressed with Americans that he thought we ought to use a turkey as our national symbol. In one of those weird moments of Poetic Justice, this genius almost killed himself while trying to electrocute a turkey at a picnic (McNeal, pg. 41 - he references Ayres book). Gee, he couldn't possibly have been trying to make fun of Americans by any chance, could he?

You'll be seeing that one again.

So, anyways, it took him the whole bloody war to convince the French to join our side and he made sure that after the war the country stayed in debt to the British Crown which is unheard of in the annals of military conquests - that the victor continued to honor their debts to the vanquished.

This same genius actually wrote a letter to General Lee stating that he thought we ought to fight the British Muskets using Bow and Arrows - I kid you naught - you can get a copy of the letter off the net which is where I found it.

Now, the reason for this was because the only area in which Americans had the clear superiority over the British was in our marksmanship.  Whereas the average Brit couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a musket (from the inside), most Americans put food on their table with one.  This was cause for concern for the British Officers so much so that the First American thought he would help em out by convincing an experienced General to, basically, commit tactical suicide.

Go fly a kite, asswipe.


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